How to lose a girl in 10 days

With Valentines Day around the corner, I figured this would be a fun topic to cover.  So I think most of you all have seen or at least heard of the movie, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” starring Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson. Fun movie, not a bad watch for any dudes who are trying to avoid getting stuck watching a chick-flick.

I’m not going to get into the details but it’s basically guy meets girl.  Girl meets guy.  Guy made bet that girl will fall in love with him in 10 days.  Same girl made bet that she’d lose guy in 10 days.

So….with that said here’s my list of how to lose a “girl” in 10 days.  Take it for what it’s worth. There’s some humor behind these…but at the same time, a bit of an ugly truth.

*Disclaimer:  Ladies, I do not endorse, encourage or condone any of the behavior your man may display with you after reading this post.  Let it be known that I do not practice, plan to undergo or have used any of these reasons in any relationship in past, present, or future.  Proceed at your own discretion and enjoy!

10.  Flava flave. You say yeeaaaa booooyyyyy every chance a word comes out of your mouth to end a sentence…..yeeeaaaaa booooyyyyyyy

9. What? You’re my long lost sister that was given up for adoption back in 1977?

8.  Show off. You braggart.  You brag about everything you pompous arrogant ass.  Doesn’t matter if it’s true it’s the principal.  Go ahead though, since you wanna get rid of her anyway.  Let her find out for herself that you’re full of sh#t.  Tell her you’re hung like a whale…but don’t be surprised to see her laugh her way out the door.

7.  Parenthood. You tell her that her mom looks like a drunken drugged up prostitute from the disco era and her dad looks like the wrong side of a horses ass, smells like it too….don’t stop there though, make sure you say that with them present. Just for kicks.

6. Dolla dolla bill yo’. You could.  You could really cover her tab on that McD’s extra value meal you picked up for your first date.  But you don’t. In fact you ask her if you can borrow $10 to get both your meals….just this once….but really not since it happens again on the 2nd date…and 3rd…..and 4th….and 5th…..well, you get the idea.

5.  Huh? Yep that’s it, don’t listen to her.  She’s a talkin’ but you’re nadda’ listening. Not just once but multiple times.  Guys, ever wonder why you always hear that term, ” you’re not listening to me?”  Cause ladies, sometimes, a lot of times we’re really not.

4.  Be insensitive! Her:  “Honey do I look fat in this dress?”  You:  “Yup” ‘Nuff said.

3.  Pinocchio. Lying.  I’m not just talking about the one little white lie deal. I’m talking compulsive liar.  Keep adding them up until it snowballs your relationship into oblivion.

2.  You wife beater! This could be #1 but I figured I’d go with #2 since there are still a lot of gals out there who insist on staying by their man even after this happens.  Verbal and/or physical abuse is definitely no way to keep a girl by your side.  All jokes aside, you’d be a huge douche bag if you went through with reason #2.  I hope you burn in hell if you did, now have a nice day! 🙂

[And the #1 way to lose a girl in 10 days…..! Drum roll please…..]

1.  Cheat on her. Not just the tell her you’re going out with the boys and be seen out with another girl by her friends kind of thing.  Nahhh if you’ve gone this far down or should I say up the list, you’ve got no soul.  Go all out, let her walk in on you and the other girl….in bed.

So what’s your 10?  Fellas, if you’ve really gone through 10 days and all 10 reasons…you really are a douche bag.  That last one was for you ladies.  Happy Valentines Day!

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7 responses to this post.

  1. I think I have an ex BF who matched quite a few of these aforementioned qualities. LOL! But seriously.

    Reply

  2. Funny list.

    I haven’t seen the movie…

    I would think if a guy did any of these things he probably wouldn’t even have a girl in the first place???

    fortunately I don’t know anyone like this…

    Reply

  3. Posted by @nanigurl on February 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    Ha ha! I agree with SageMom – how would a guy like that ever land a chick in the first place?!

    I would like to see the Top 10 list of ways to lose a guy in 10 days….

    Reply

  4. Posted by Mom on February 13, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    Hey…what about “For the Glory of Love” by Peter Satera…’member that song and the image you had of being the hero…White Knight in Shining Armour rescuing Cheryl from…

    Reply

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